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The importance of pronouns
are used within the English language when we speak about ourselves and each other. Most often, when we are speaking of a single person in the third person, personal pronouns have a gender implied (such as she to refer to a woman/girl or he to refer to a man/boy, however, more and more there are those of us who use neutral or non-gender specific pronouns (like the singular they/them/their).
People often make assumptions about the gender of other people based on their appearance. These assumptions can be wrong and, when wrong, have the potential to be harmful. Whats important here is respecting each others personal pronoun use. This not only shows respect, but it works to build trust and inclusivity. Choosing to ignore someones pronouns could imply that intersex, transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming people do not or should not exist.
Whats important is respecting everyone, their pronouns and using them correctly.
- How do I know someones pronouns?
You cant tell someone's name or pronouns just by looking at them. The best way to know is to ask.
You can also model the kind of introduction you are looking for by sharing your name and pronouns and then asking them, Whats your name and pronouns? or How should I refer to you?.
If someone takes the time to share their name and/or pronouns with you, use it.
- What if I use the wrong pronouns?
Apologize when you make a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes and thats okay. If and when someone points out a mistake that youve made, acknowledge the harm that was done, apologize and move on. Remember, its about the and not your intent. If you need to, practice so that the persons pronouns become second nature.
Resources
- Pronoun Etiquette Cheat Sheet by Adam Dyck
- Practice using pronouns by visiting
- Guide to Pronouns by 間眅埶AV's Human Rights Office