Pet Parenting
There鈥檚 an episode of The Muppet Show in which Miss Piggy gets a little dog鈥攑layed by a real dog as well as a muppet鈥攁nd talks about herself as 鈥淢ama鈥� to little 鈥淔oo-Foo.鈥� Kermit resists being brought into a parental role and ends up yelling 鈥淚 am not that dog鈥檚 Da-da!鈥� Partly, Kermit鈥檚 reaction is to Piggy鈥檚 trying to create a relationship between them without his consent, but mostly the January 1980 show (guest starring Dyan Cannon) is making fun of indulgent owners who spoil and baby their pets, and the wise Kermit wants to be distanced from pet parenting.
Forty years later, we鈥檙e now surrounded in settler North American/Western culture by people who talk about their 鈥渇ur babies鈥� and being 鈥減et parents.鈥� Vets talk about their patient鈥檚 鈥渕ummy and daddy鈥� because that鈥檚 what the paying clients want to hear. People dress their pets up in specially made human-style clothes. 鈥� Please, let me tell you, folks, you are not the dog鈥檚 Da-da! Until 1) we give legal personhood to non-human animals, 2) we respect them, and 3) we become vegetarian, having pets is not being a pet parent. You are the animal鈥檚 owner, not its mummy or daddy. Yes, you love the pet in a similar way to how you love a human child. Yes, you take care of it and train it鈥攐r spoil it. Yes, you can use it as a child substitute emotionally, keeping it perpetually cute and beloved and dependent on you. But your dog, your cat, your parrot, your guinea pig, and your bearded dragon, they do not see you as their parents.
And there鈥檚 a strange double vision going on culturally, one that shows we do not believe that pets are children. You can鈥檛 legally sell your child or give them away, as you can your pet. You can鈥檛 breed your child without their consent. You can鈥檛 lock them in a kennel with a bowl of water and some kibble while you鈥檙e at work during the day. You can鈥檛 have them put down if they have a serious medical condition or poor quality of life (at least not without a serious legal battle). If you abandon your child, they won鈥檛 have a time limit to be adopted by another family before they鈥檙e euthanized.
Also, the amount of neglect and abuse it takes to get a conviction for what a human has done to one or more animals is atrociously high. The animal pretty much has to be emaciated, dehydrated, and covered in scars and festering wounds to guarantee a successful prosecution. I鈥檓 not saying that we humans don鈥檛 abuse and neglect our children, nor that it鈥檚 easy to convict us when we do, but that there鈥檚 a difference in the amount and kinds of evidence the police or a judge needs to order a child be placed in protective custody and say to the caregivers 鈥測ou need to make changes in their living environment and your behaviour before you get the child back.鈥�
I like animals. I respect them. I enjoy spending time with them. While I鈥檓 willing to eat the ones I know I can kill personally (mainly fish), I try to avoid buying products with leather or gelatin or rennet in them because, even if you gave me the tools and training, I couldn鈥檛 kill a cow. But I鈥檓 not one of those people who reach out at a dog鈥檚 face, gushing baby talk in a high-pitched voice without asking the owner鈥檚 or the dog鈥檚 permission, getting the dog excited or anxious or fearful. I also respect human children and similarly avoid gushing at and demeaning them. I don鈥檛 laugh at a child who says or does something 鈥渃ute,鈥� meaning attractively incompetent. Because I teach children鈥檚 literature, clearly remember much condescension in my childhood, and have friends who are young people, I鈥檓 all for treating other sentient beings with respect. I encourage others to treat both children and pets with respect.
So, people, you need to stop making your pets into substitute children! You are owners, not pet parents. And it would be nice if you鈥檇 not laugh at children for making mistakes you think are 鈥渃ute.鈥� Thank you.
